Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs. The other day, I wrote a post about resilience in uncertain times, and who knew that I was writing that post as a gentle reminder for myself? When you think you have it figured out in life, the game changes. That’s precisely what happened to me on Wednesday; the game changed. I was being packaged out from my job – a polite way of saying, “Thank you for your service, but it’s time to part ways.”
For years, I dedicated myself to my career and poured my heart and soul into it, believing that this was the path I was meant to walk. I would probably retire there and spend the next 23 years at this company. But then, suddenly, that thought of retirement was out the window. The package came as both a shock and a revelation. It was a shock. It was an unexpected revelation because it forced me to confront a question I had skillfully dodged for years: “Now what?”
The silence around me was almost deafening Wednesday evening, sitting at home in my Montreal apartment, save for the occasional sound of my cat vomiting on my floor or the heater kicking in. The feeling of uncertainty was palpable. This wasn’t just about losing a job; it was about losing a part of my identity. I had always been ‘C.K., the dedicated worker.’ But who was C.K. without that label?
Now, this is where it starts to get interesting. The last 12 months at work have been the most challenging, not because of work duties but because of the volatility of the work environment. A large organization acquired us, and the acquisition was brutal. What came from that was a lot of personal and professional growth. It forced me out of my comfort zone and made me come to terms with so much in both aspects of my life. At the beginning of October, I felt something shift, a new mentality rising from within. I had a thought! What if I put the same level of ‘over and above’ that I put into work into myself? What would that look like?
Over the following few weeks, it manifested into this blog, me picking up a 15-year-old manuscript that I was fearful of putting out and leaving out and outlining a business book and a suspense thriller book. The last month has found me spending every evening after work and every weekend working on some element of me, pouring into myself what I pour into work. I leaned in, creating new habits and structuring my evenings and weekends to be productive and efficient, to produce good work. It was a shift in mindset and behaviors.
Now, let’s go back to the last two days. I would be lying if I didn’t say it has been a blur of emotions – confusion, fear, a touch of excitement, and a lot of soul-searching. One feeling I couldn’t help noticing was a sense of relief falling over me as the news settled in. It was almost like I had been tensed for a long time, and the cause of that tension just walked away. The relief was fighting against the anxiety of where I would go next. In this volatile job market, will I land on my feet? What will I do next?
Then, amid this emotional tornado, a quiet voice in my head whispered and reminded me: you shifted your mindset, you began pouring into yourself, you changed your behavior, you understood your worth; the universe has taken notice and made some adjustments to your path. I had always dreamt of being a writer, penning books that spanned genres from mental health to thrilling mysteries. But life, with its demands and practicalities, had pushed this dream to the back burner.
So, there I was, with a severance package, a wealth of experience, a chiseled skill set, and a passion for writing. I had a choice to make: remain anxious, worry about finding a well-paying opportunity, or lean in and trust the process. I have decided to lean in! Opportunities for me to find active income are out there, and the next place I work will value me for my input. A place where I will go to work remotely and feel the good vibes from the people and the leadership in every meeting. A collaborative engine working collectively to succeed.
So, for the time being, until I locate an organization that will recognize my value and pay me my worth, I will continue to write, not with the thought of crafting a bestseller overnight, but to finetune my voice. In December, my day job will be writing. I am not bummed that this happened right before the holidays; I think, in a way, it was a holiday gift. I am ready to lean in. I don’t have all the answers, but that’s okay. I realize life’s beauty lies in its unpredictability, in the endless possibilities that unfold when we’re brave enough to step (or be pushed) into the unknown.
As I write this, I don’t know where this journey will take me. But that’s the thrill of it. I’ve been packaged out, but more importantly, I’ve been packaged into a new beginning: a beginning where the unknown is not something to fear but to embrace.
So, to anyone in a similar situation, know this: It’s okay to feel lost and not have all the answers. Sometimes, getting ‘packaged out’ is life’s way of nudging you towards a path you were always meant to walk. Take that step, embrace the uncertainty, and who knows? You might find yourself in the process.
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